Please my brada you should know that your wife is very important in your life, i dont mean you should not support your mama, but you should discuss with your wife about everything including how you are going to use and manage your finances, you should consult and see which issue is more imprtant than the other so that you dont leave some important things unattended- i have a feeling that you dont involve her in any decision making concerning moner matters which is very wrong, i just wonder somebody gives you her/his body to you evry other day but you cannot allow them to touch your payslip/ bank statement or ATM which is important here - your body or your money? Think about this - all the best and may God open your eyes and give you wisdom

I have witnessed the same problem with one of my brothers. We are involved in international business with my two other brothers and we share a common account for our own family problems. Now one time one of my bros started borrowing large sums of money week after week from our common account. we investigated and put him under pressure when we started noticing that his wife is distancing herself from family activities and functions. he had to confess that he was being pushed into never spending on my mum or contributing to family functions. she at once actually ran away to Dubai.

here is what my brother did:

1. he asked the wife to a humble meeting and gave his time just to listen to her and what she wants.

2. he then asked her to cooperate with him in finding a balanced solution to the problem, but gave her an upper hand in suggesting those solutions.

3. after a week of deep soul searching she realized she was too engrossed into the material things that she was actually benumbed to the realities that she was alienating herself from the real responsibilities and obligation.

4. my brother worked with her to effect the recommendations they made and supported her by reminding her about their agreement every time she vexed. he did this sweetly and in the process actually managed to correct her personality problems.

5. she was actually able to openly confess that she was jealous of my mum and that she could see the problem. its been five years now and the mum and daughter in law are very close. she never does shopping without shopping for mama. my bro never shops for his family and not buy something for both parents.

So my brother you first need to humble yourself completely and accept the responsibility that whether your money is being subject of jealous, you are the man of the house and you are expected to take charge of everything, more so provide leadership. Please try to convince your wife that you want to understand her and really want to solve this problem so that both parties are happy. she will realize that she needs to contribute as an equal partner to the decision making and actual activities of the family. Remember, don't panic, stay in control but work with her to solve the problem. You will succeed. BILL.

This thing got so bad, she even threatened she's going to commit suicide if I dont allow her a say in my money, arguing that the marriage is meaningless if I dont trust sharing those with her. She hasnt eaten for 2 days and wont talk to anyone. Her agument is that all family finances should be veted by both before being done, although apperately in reference to my side. A shilling for my side and a shilling for hers. She argues I send my mom money too frequently yet she knows my mom doent work.I just sent my mom 3k and ironically she's just back from her place where she took shopping + cash worth 9k.

Mind u, Ive taken her to colle and she's now earning but not contributing a cent to family finances as she says she's saving for further educ. So it my money under dispute here. I'm just sick of the whole thing...

your wife is just jealous about your mum...................just sit her down and make her understand that your mum is as important as she is to you..................go ahead, do things for your mum, she is aged and she needs your total attention.
But next time when you want to do anything financially, just let her knowbut that does not mean that she is the one who should tell you what to do with your finances.................

Ebu imagine how much your mum spent when you were growing up...................

and you cant build her just a kitchen

how much has your wife spent on you?

Is it that you pay a lot of attention to your mother or is it just that your wife is too jealous,try en talk to her en make her understand that as long as you take your responsibilities in the house.Ask her if her mom had a problem en needed money wat would she do if you obligated.