Should i get a baby first, then wed later?? dilemma!! |
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Hi all, now i would like you people to advise me on something here. I am aged 28 yrs, turning 29 in Jan. I have a fiancee and we would like to get married soon.we stay togther. he came home with his parents in dec 2006 and met my parents so as to facilitate the process of dowry and stuff. We have been postponing our wedding plans becoz after that event, we had had already started a biz which didnt take off smoothly as we had planned due to problems hea and thea with our landlord he was restricting us alot interms of customers coming in to our premises. throughout all this time, he was the one supporting my biz with his salary as we struggled to get out of the rat hole we were in. Meanwhile at his home, his father told him that he had to save for my parents dowry coz they are poor bt the problem was that we were using all his finances in sustaining our biz coz it still had potential. PS: my family actually likes him and have approved of him and so have his parents.It is 2008 now, and we still havent set a wedding date due to all the financial constraints we have been having trying to support the biz coz i dont work myself, the biz is my support. Our family have been pressuring us but only we know what we have been sacrificing. fortunately our biz has gotten onto solid ground and now we can breathe alittle. Problem is i have waited for so long for my wedding and yet i couldnt pressure my fiancee since he was supporting me all this time, payin rent etc, and now i want a baby with him more than anything since am soon turning 29 and my doctor told me to also get paged quickly since i was diagnosed with fibroids.Q. I would like to get married first, but is it bad for me to want a baby now considering we lost alot of time along the way. we still cant afford a big wedding and yet our parents want one, so we've decided to get a baby, then the wedding later. is it wrong to contemplate this??coz in society's eyes, a couple gets married, then kids. he has been wonderful and faithful to me and i love him so much.or should i continue waiting till we can afford the wedding whenever it will be, then get pregnant..hopefully not by 30??pliz help!! |
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| 2008-07-01 | prit said: |
DONT TRIP |
Now we r made to understand that you have been living together.So my assumption is that you have had sex more than enough times..only pills or whatever u use has stopped u from concieving.gal,get a grip of urself,it doesnt make sense that u are realising sex before marriage is bad..you have eaten the forbidden fruit b4marriage but the good news is that ur matrimonious stay together has been approved by both parents so please have the baby and have it now!!Your biological clock is ticking not to mention abt the fibroids.there is no greater sin than the other..have that baby b4 its too late.and be happy with ur pregnancy if u want a healthy baby..all the best!! |
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| 2008-06-30 | Dmm said: |
Be real |
SInce u have been staying together for this long it can safely be assumed that u are for all intents and purposes, man & wife. So go ahead and try for try for the kid. it doesnt however mean that u will get paged in the first month of trial. It can last through to like 6-8 months so i would categorise this as an urgent issue. As for the big wedding-forget it now, it is simply non-value adding. If i were in ur shoes i would opt for civil one with the AG office-it costs about 3k and u get a cert to keep for your safety. So start trying for a kid as wel as setting a date to book your appointment in sheria House. |
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| 2008-06-30 | Luke said: |
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Talk to your fiance...if he really feels you on this, he will marry you. Please do not bring a child into this world who has no father figure, there will be a price to pay |
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| 2008-06-30 | flames said: |
PLIZ WAIT |
MY DEA THANK GOD THAT UP TO THIS TIME HE HAS KEPT U STRONG. SO DONT BREAK THIS BY HAVING A CHILE BEFORE THE WEDDING JUST WAIT THEN AFTER THE WEDDING U CAN HAV THE KID . EVEN IF U HAV FIBROIDS KEMEA THEM & U WILL SEE HOW GOD IS FAITHFUL |
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| 2008-06-30 | G-5 said: |
marriage/wedding |
Hii,plse let try to understand coz u say ur staying 2getha as who now?I believe you are married n your parents have okeyed that.in marriage the most important thing is your parents blessings oonce you hav that thats perfect mambo mengine badaye.Wen it comes to wedding u only need pastor u n partner plus best couple n certificate fee and thats all n ul be happly married.To plan 4 abig wedding is aperfect idea but if u cant afford wat happens?you only cut your coat according to your size.Get the baby soonest wedding baadaye |
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